TTS: Episode 1 // Never Have I Ever with the Elwood Brothers

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Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening, depending on what time it is there in your area! Welcome to the first ever TTS or Thestarslisten Talk Show! I’m your host Ania and this will be a new segment in my blog for books I’m super crazy about and collaborating with generous authors for giving the time of day to answer my emails.

Are you excited? I am too! Don’t worry, we keep it as spoiler free as possible in here.

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For the first episode we have two of the hottest new vampires in the island from Nicola Rose’s debut novel, book 1 in the Elwood Legacy Series, Taste the Dark! Let’s give a hand for the Elwood Brothers, Zac and Alex!

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[Off the script: Zac will be the color Purple, Alex will be color Blue, and Green will be used for general reactions.]

So boys, how excited are you that Taste the Dark is about to see the light of day?

Zac: It’s been a long time coming, I’m not sure excited is the right word. This journey has been fairly torturous…

Alex: *scoffs loudly*

Zac: Something to add, brother?

Alex: Hell no, don’t let me steal your thunder! Go ahead and let it all out, Zachariah. I’ve heard talking it through is great therapy. Is that why we’re here?

*awkward pause*

Oookay, the ARCs are all over the world, I’ve been seeing positive feedback about the book, how do you feel about that?

Zac: That’s awesome. I hope people can connect with the story in some way. Everyone has their demons. It’s about how we choose to face them.

Alex: Wait, this was you facing them?! At what point—

Zac: *Bristles in his seat* Moving along…

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Now, I brought you guys here to play a game everybody loves. We know you gentlemen have lived for hundreds of years and you’ve pretty much done everything. But have you? Ladies and gentlemen in the audience reading this weird talk show I started, we are going to play NEVER HAVE I EVER!

Bring in the alcohol! Kidding, we’re not allowed to drink alcohol in here, where’s the red Kool-Aid in shot glasses?

Alright. Never have I ever, wished I sparkled under the sun.

*Laughter from both*

Alex: Come on, you’ve got to drink to that one!

Zac: *Raises eyebrows*

Alex: Come on! Chicks went wild for that dude in the movies. You totally wanted a little sparkle to match your pathetic way of life…

Zac: *Rolls eyes*

Never have I ever, got bored of immortality.

Zac: *Takes a shot*

Alex: *Shakes head in disgust*

Are you bored of the fact that you can’t die?

Zac: Sometimes. It’s more about getting bored of the daily grind. Facing the Beast day in and day out and wondering why I bother. Life would be a lot easier if I just gave in to the darkness instead of fighting so hard. It becomes tedious when there’s barely any motivation for sticking to it. But then Jess arrived and reminded me of why I do it… and why I don’t want to, all at the same time.

*Turns to Alex* Enlighten us then Alex, why immortality is never boring?

Alex: Locked in your prime – good looks, youth, energy—

Zac: Which forces you to move on every twenty years, or go through the hassle of… convincing the locals not to notice.

Alex: Never having to answer to anyone but yourself—

Zac: We all have to answer to the Bael. And answering to yourself is the hardest part for some of us.

Alex: *Gives Zac a pitying look* How about never having to waste time with buying groceries and cooking?

Zac: Still having to endure the stench of other human’s food…

Alex: *Snaps his fingers* OK, I got it. Never needing to sleep.

Zac: Wishing sleep would take you and quiet the Beast. *Allows a small smile*

Alex: *Laughs* Right, here’s my last attempt. *Clears throat dramatically* Everything changes every twenty or thirty years. That’s a blip in time for us, and we’re on to new discoveries, new adventures. Technology, beliefs, acceptable behaviour — it evolves all the time and I enjoy testing out each new world as it comes, because each time I’m still young and strong, able to enjoy everything to its fullest.

Zac: *Snorts* Why don’t you enlighten the audience as to what ‘enjoying it to its fullest’ actually involves?

Alex: I don’t try to hide from my demons. I’m sure these guys have already figured out that I suck blood and kill people. But do they realise that you do, too?

Zac: *Grinds teeth, eyes flare*

Settle down boys. Never have I ever, wished I could enroll to a school for vampires.

Alex: There’s a school for vampires? Shit! That is exactly what Zachariah needs! Where do I sign him up?

*Turns to Zac* Nothing to comment on that?

Zac: Hiding behind his jokes is a vampire who’s jealous of everything I have. Carry on…

*Snorts* Sorry. Never have I ever, owned a pet.

Alex: *Glares at Zac* I don’t think you’re taking this game seriously. Those dudes locked up in your basement count as pets, right?

Zac: *Shrugs and takes a shot*

Alex: *Grins and takes a drink himself*

What kind of pet do you have Alex? Is it the same as Zac’s?

Alex: God, no. I don’t scrape the barrel like he does. I prefer my pets with a little more spark in them.

Neither of you ever owned a normal pet like a dog? Or a cat? A bird?

Zac: Animals don’t really like us. They fear the dominant predator.

Alex: That was a good answer coming from you! *Slaps Zac on shoulder*

Never have I ever, cried watching Titanic.

*No reaction*

Neither of you saw the film? What do you even do in your spare time? Just party all day and night? What movies have you guys even seen?

Alex: There’s more to life than day and night partying?! I watch horror and action movies, but they rarely hold my interest. I prefer the excitement of real life. Zachariah, though — he sits around brooding most of the time. Right?

Zac: Not all the time… Sometimes I stand whilst brooding. *Offers Alex a tight smile*

Hahaha! That’s funny, Zac. Never have I ever, wanted to kill my brother.

Alex: Ohhhhh! Did you hear that gasp from the audience?!

Zac: *Grabs three shots and downs them in succession… pauses, and takes another two*

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Alex: Shit, Zachariah! We’re seeking out professional therapy after this. *Continues to grin at Zac’s somber face and downs a few drinks himself*

Never have I ever, wanted a girl my brother’s dating or flirting with.

Alex: Holy fuck, Ania, you’ve got some balls! Are you trying to help me push him over the edge? It’s a dangerous game but I admire your bravery. *Leans in to whisper, too loudly, in her ear* Meet me in my dressing room after the show. I’ll show you what the non-sparkly vampires can do—

Zac: Just shut up, Alexander, and drink your shot.

Alex: *Bites bottom lip and shifts his smile from Ania to Zac* I think this question needs narrowing down further, I mean… there’s wanting your brother’s girl, and then there’s going ahead and taking her—

Zac: *Erupts from his chair and crashes into Alex, grappling him to the floor with a hand around his throat. Alex laughs as Zac hisses in his ear, fangs descended, every ounce of the human facade lost*

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*Stage hands rush on and attempt to separate the brawling vampires, but think better of getting involved, hesitating until they sort themselves out and re-take their seats*

Zac: *Straightens out his shirt* Your game is edging into murky territory. Let’s get back to the standard high-school version, shall we?

Alex: *Takes his shot, sipping it slowly, drawing it out*

Drinking alcohol is never enough, do you guys even get drunk?

Zac: It depends on your definition of drunk. Drink enough and it might dampen our senses a little, but we’d still be functioning at a higher level than a sober human.

So what do you guys do to get some buzz or feel similar to getting drunk?

Zac: Riding my Tomahawk motorcycle is about the only thing that can give me a rush. It doesn’t last long, but for a moment it’s fast enough. Then there’s the effect that Jess has on me — that’s intoxicating.

Alex: Once you’re in my dressing room later, I can show you exactly what I do for a buzz. *Winks at Ania*

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*Clears throat* Right, back to the game. Never have I ever, got drunk and danced naked.

Alex: *Drinks a shot and faces the curious expression from Ania*

What? We live on South Padre — spring break party island. The number one spot for the drunken, debaucherous adventures of innocent youths who think they’re wild. OK, so technically I might not actually be drunk, but I’m sure as shit going to pretend and join the fray. Besides, have you seen this body? It’s criminal to keep it covered and deny those rampant girls their fun.

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Never have I ever, accidentally sent a Snap to the wrong person.

Zac: What’s a Snap?

Do you guys not have social media accounts?

Zac: *Shrugs* Some, but they don’t interest me much.

Alex: Of course I do. But when you don’t care who sees your dick pics, or your bloody fangs masquerading as Cosplay — then it doesn’t really matter if you send it to the wrong person.

Aww…nobody appreciates little Alex’s dick pics. That’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard.

Alex: *chuckles* You’re so mistaken. Everyone appreciates them. Although, why bother with a Snap when you can have the real thing, Ania?

*Clears throat* Never have I ever, kissed a guy.

Alex: Darlin’, are you trying to get me drunk? I just told you, there’s no need… *takes another shot*

Zac: *Let’s out a long sigh and rubs his eyes*

OMG you must elaborate Alex! I’m not going to ask who, but when? How? Why?

Alex: You find this shocking? Why? I have eternity. I have whomever I want, when I want. When you’re in the middle of an orgy, kissing a guy can occasionally happen. It doesn’t mean anything.

Good point. Never have I ever, had a celebrity crush.

*Both take a drink*

Zac: Too many to count. Angelina Jolie was probably my biggest.

Alex: I can’t tell you who mine are. Obviously I used my charms on getting them into bed…

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Never have I ever, tried becoming a model (underwear, fashion, etc.)

Zac: Thanks for keeping the tame ones for the end. You couldn’t have kept it that way throughout?

Where’s the fun in that?

Alex: *Nods in agreement* Don’t mind him. Moody vampire is his default.

So you’re telling me that neither of you ever tried to become models? *turns to Alex*

Alex: I’m flattered that you’re so convinced I should, but no. Being an actor could be fun, though. Maybe I should try that… ohh, when this book is made into a movie, I’ll play myself!

Yeah! You’d make a great Alex.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the Elwood Brothers Zac and Alex! Thank you so much for coming to visit boys, any last words for the crowd?

Zac: Thanks for having us. Check out Taste the Dark if you want to meet the most incredible, sassy woman, and find out what it’s like for a vampire with a conscience, facing obstacles at every turn. This is about standing up to the Beast and fighting for what’s right.

Alex: It sure is, and you can bet that ‘what’s right’ has not yet occurred. This story isn’t finished. In fact, it’s only just begun. I’m excited for the next chapter in our journey, aren’t you, Zachariah?

Zac: *Growls and leaves the stage*

Alex: *Offers a dazzling smile to Ania and holds her gaze until she clears her throat and looks away*

If you’re still reading this, thank you so much for giving my new segment a try and do let me know in the comments down below what you think of this ‘talk show’ or you can contact me through any of my social media accounts (links at the bottom of this page).

I’ll see you guys in the next episode!

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